Anger

You know that ‘bad feeling’ you get

When something isn’t right

Well, I get those

Far too many times then I would like

And they tend to slap me across the face

Making sure to leave a mark

 

People say life is an adventure

And as much as I love adventures

I’m sick of life turning unexpectedly

Before I can get used to things

Before I can settle myself in

Before I can get comfortable

 

We all have a tell

That manages to show everyone what we’re capable of

Of what we’ve been hiding

Of what we want to continue hiding

They get under our skin

And pull it out

Expose you for all you are

And still manage to be subtle about it

 

“Trust me,” they whisper

And thinking that they mean true

You bear your soul to them

Only to notice the whole class whispering

Yeah, they know

And you won’t be making that mistake again

 

You scream

And you shout

Let it all out

Or you bottle it in

Calm yourself down before to do something regretful

 

At that moment you feel the tears prickling your eyes

Feel your heart break a bit

Anger

Anger at your own stupidity of trusting someone

Of opening up to someone

And in that moment you promise

That you sure as hell won’t be making that mistake again

 

Anger

When screaming in the pillow isn’t enough

When crying and shouting doesn’t work

When you want to hurt

For all the hurt given to you

When you want to break something

Just throw it against the wall and watch it shatter

 

Anger is a dormant troll within us

Just waiting for the right moment

To pop out from under that bridge

When you finally make your decision to cross it

Anger is what keeps you awake at nights

Replaying mistakes

Knowing that never again will you be making them

Anger is making those mistakes again

And cursing yourself for them

Anger is a monster

And it feeds on you and me

 

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some dreams are

Some dreams are

Destined to be broken

Irreparable to the core

Some dreams are

Never meant to be

No matter how hard to try to make them come true

Such is my dream

One that I am now ready to toss out the window

But not now

Not today

Not tomorrow

It’s hard

How do you throw away something that meant the world to you?

Passion brims atop the glass

Fizzing and splotching down the sides

The bubbles swim to the surface

The air is welcoming

Their 1 second life’s worth

I want to be that bubble

Floating into the air in ecstasy

Fulfillment and satisfaction

That my dream finally came true

I’m lost

A knife wrenched into my gut

Someone pulled apart my heart

Not satisfied with the tear down the middle

Only to tear at it with teeth

The criss cross won’t be able to sew me up again

How do i survive this?

I preach strength and courage to friends

I preach standing up to your beliefs

If they implement it, i don’t know

But after months of struggle

It’s finally over

They’ve made their decision

Never mind what mine might have been

I rely on them

And my choice in the matter…doesn’t exist

Now i look somewhere else

The contours of my life uncertain

Their swiggles

No straight line in the horizon

Because some dreams are meant to be broken

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