The New Year…with one less family member

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Life can be cruel when it needs to be. Cruel enough to fool and then laugh at our expense.

Yesterday, he was fine. In better spirits. Recovery no longer seemed impossible – in fact it was within arms length.

Today, he is no more. In the blink of an eye – gone.

Cruel.

I look into his room – every time i walk past it. Every time. Pinch myself every time. It took me 3 whole days to¬†realize¬†– he won’t be coming back.

They hauled his body on their shoulders. Walked to the mosque, taking turns carrying the weight. In that moment i looked to the horizon, closed one eye, extended my index finger and thumb, picked him up and put him back in his room. Foolish.

The tears didn’t stop till for at least a few minutes after. And then nothing. My head throbbed and i was sure would explode. Thoughts were haywire. Body numb. I couldn’t even bring myself to enter his room after it all. Just lingering at the door.

I came to terms with something that day. We are small and weak in the eyes of Death. He’ll come for us all.

I have to believe that it was for his betterment. So he would be out of pain. Free from it all. Maybe.

And then there was that probable truth – i no longer had any grandparents.

To Seek Help Does Not Make You Weak, For It Makes You Strong Knowing There Is Something Wrong

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Worry etched on her face

Lines prominently defined

Her eyes a reflection of her soul

No longer held any hope

Her smile that spoke a thousand words

Only spoke a syllable at a time

Now like a blue moon

Refused to show unless to hide

Her thoughts were a refuge

Could not offer her sanctity

There was one way out

To end everything

She wanted to let go

Fingertips reaching for others

Everything slipping from her grasp

Her final resort: help

She spoke

And breathed

Her worries and sorrows

Let it all out

A great burden lifted of her shoulder

They heard and quietly listened

Then spoke

Let her know

That she should start living for her own happiness

Find it in what she has

Others decisions were being forced onto her

And while that was hard, she COULD be happy!

 

Baby it’s Cold Outside

December brings in the cold, freezing winds. Grey and blue. Strong, that turn the water to ice and leave my hands dry and old. Everything in its wake promptly either dies or decides to sleep and wake up another day, another warm sunny day. That is the December everyone perceives… My December is warmth among […]