Nowadays, it is almost like whatever i do or whichever decision i take, you are never happy with it.
Unless i ask for your advice, please refrain from giving it to me. Because while you may mean to explain and teach, you actually become really mean. Obnoxious. And i start doubting myself.
I shouldn’t have to explain everything to you. I am not a pushover. Stop insinuating that i am. I know exactly what is happening and i just to react the way i do. My decision. Because i want to keep the peace. Me.
You make it really difficult, though. It’s like throwing lighter fluid on a flame. You look for excuses to make issues and fight. Granted, some one else is creating issues, but i seriously don’t need you to demean me and prove to me how stupid i am for trusting and letting people walk over me.
I want to make peace. Create it and keep it. Preserve it for tomorrow’s war. Just so that when i uncap the bottle, every particle of peace comes flowing out and nothing can ignite the destruction that would have unfolded otherwise.
You make me feel pathetic. And trust me, it is the worst feeling in the world. Broken and scathed. Singing : “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” Don’t you get it, this was exactly what made me keep people at arms length. Close enough, yet not close at all.
I’m guessing, you just don’t like the fact that i play Switzerland half the time.