Everyone tends to leave me. They pack up and go. A solemn goodbye is all I get.
Part of me wonders each time if a curse has been placed on me. It starts off with finding this amazing person, realizing that both of you are on the same boat and becoming the best of friends. Only as it happens, they leave to write the next chapter of their life somewhere else, somewhere far from you and all you end up doing is shedding a few tears of sadness over losing them and wishing them good luck.
Social media no longer helps.
At first we make promises of never losing touch with one another. A promise that remains etched onto our skin like a tattoo, one we intend to fully fulfill. Only life catches up and sure enough excuses become more visible than ‘hellos’ and ‘how are yous?’ And from talking every day we move to talking only on the weekends till we’re left leaving a wall post on their birthday. Inboxes remain empty because there is a hesitation within you that stops your fingers from collaborating an intricate piece of reminiscing and catching up.
Our friendship was like a symphony that flowed naturally without disturbance. So how did it lose sound over time? I wish I could stop you from leaving. Press pause or just tear out that chapter that requires for you to leave.
Eventually, life resumes its usual course and you learn to sidestep those memorable moments and places for sometime till they stop hurting and you become consumed in your own life once again. Your hesitation of how you will continue without them, no longer exists.
Spending important moments together.
I tend to imagine everything tenfold. But alas, circumstances always catch up and just as quickly the future no longer seems on our side.
I wish everything didn’t seem like a distant dream or a single wish that my heart makes even though it knows it’s all far-fetched.
I no longer hold the key to our friendship and I’m afraid neither do you. But a part of me will always hope against it all that even when we meet, whenever that may be, things are just the way we left them.
I pray that distance really does make the heart grow fonder.