Poison

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They say I’m filled with poison
That,
Blood never flowed through me
And instead of crimson
I bleed,
Blue and green and yellow

Remind me,
How it is I
Who spreads toxins
That make breathing
In your presence difficulty, that
Fighting for air
In a world
Submerged in water-
Not knowing how to swim

Remind me,
How my negativity
Trumped yours
Infecting one organ
And then latching onto the rest
Till the only solution
Is death
And maybe Snow White
Isn’t simply a fairytale
But the bitter truth laced
Within an apple so red
It can only be considered evil

Remind me,
How I started wars
Where losing a limb
Or two
Became second nature
And lives were protected
By eradicating and exterminating
Like rodents
They supplied
To us temptation
Wrapped in a red bow

Remind me,
When it became okay
To inject venom
In bloodstreams
Turning brother against brother
Giving a new meaning to
Blood is thicker than water

Remind me
How this poison
Became our elixir
To a life well lived
With a dial that never stopped spinning
And I swear we craved it
Like Icarus
We flew too close

So,
Maybe-
Yes, I am filled with poison
Maybe-
No, definitely we all are
Because our houses
Wave a flag
Adorned with a skull and bones
And poison may just be our reality.

The New Year…with one less family member

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Life can be cruel when it needs to be. Cruel enough to fool and then laugh at our expense.

Yesterday, he was fine. In better spirits. Recovery no longer seemed impossible – in fact it was within arms length.

Today, he is no more. In the blink of an eye – gone.

Cruel.

I look into his room – every time i walk past it. Every time. Pinch myself every time. It took me 3 whole days to realize – he won’t be coming back.

They hauled his body on their shoulders. Walked to the mosque, taking turns carrying the weight. In that moment i looked to the horizon, closed one eye, extended my index finger and thumb, picked him up and put him back in his room. Foolish.

The tears didn’t stop till for at least a few minutes after. And then nothing. My head throbbed and i was sure would explode. Thoughts were haywire. Body numb. I couldn’t even bring myself to enter his room after it all. Just lingering at the door.

I came to terms with something that day. We are small and weak in the eyes of Death. He’ll come for us all.

I have to believe that it was for his betterment. So he would be out of pain. Free from it all. Maybe.

And then there was that probable truth – i no longer had any grandparents.