The foyer remains well illuminated through the approaching night, almost welcoming. Yet, the windows have curtains and blinds drawn, glimpse into life not allowed. The apartment building appears well maintained while the creepers are ethereal; one wrong touch and they could all tumble down.
I see a fortress guarded well, behind gated borders and a force field that protects its foundation; a building that nature itself has taken upon itself to look after.
Remember when you said that we would buy an apartment adorned much like this one, so that our love would always remain protected against those trying to penetrate our fortress. You made me believe in a fairytale surrounded by skyscrapers and tall buildings, where we had a place of our own to create our own happy ending. You made me believe in our own happily ever after in the city, among the cars, buses, noise and people.
Now I wait on these very steps, each and every day, day and night so that you may come, whisk me away through the door of our castle. And when you hand me the key to our very own forever, I’ll clutch it to my heart so that every time you put it close to your ears the only thing you hear is the sound of my heartbeat every time I’m near you.
Our kiss will open the door wide so that without the other we may never find a way home and even if Ali Baba feels tempted, he may never get a hold of our treasures. Because I know, the city is littered with broken hearts and aching hearts and stitched-up hearts that will look to us in disdain. I want to give them hope so that they may love again and those who want nothing more than to see our downfall, let’s promise to always keep them at a distance. So that our happiness, our sorrows, our lives remain unaffected by their actions.
But these creepers grow denser and you take three steps back every time you take one step forward. All the dreams we saw together, the future we imagined now rests between us except you keep moving further away.
I still believe, even if I appear pitiful but these steps are where you’ll find me. Because I tasted our happily ever after and now I find myself an addict, for even your simplest touch can make me relapse. I’ll warm these steps for your return and I know the city is big and hearts are littered all over the sidewalk but mine has always rested near this foyer. Let its light guide you back to me and let my love beat its song once more.
You told me it was fleeting like a bird thrown out of its nest before it has a chance to spread its wings and in that moment of freefall it has a decision to make and if it chooses to flap and flap and flap then even the sun learns to clap for it. I hoped that somehow you would learn to fly but the step towards the fall was not a risk you wanted to take.
And on this journey I learned self-love while you missed the intersection along the way which is why I ask you to shut off Siri and listen to my voice drone out directions.
Put on your running shoes, place them on tight and take a left from your broken thoughts, the first right will lead you back there so ignore it. Take the second right, the street will be titled ‘Self-Love’ take small, steady steps till you reach the second left. The street is ‘Wishing Arbor’ where the people scream their wishes to the sky. I want you to scream it out, so that even you know what you want. Keep going straight till you reach the bridge, cross it with the expectation that when you reach the other side you’ll give it your all. When you’re on the other side…you’ll know where to find me.
I’ll be waiting. I’ll always be waiting.