Serena van der Woodsen, who i expect most of you to know, was very well-known for her ‘running away’ antics at the first sight of trouble among other things. And by trouble i mean when life got hard.
A few months into the end of college i too just want to run away. Not because i can’t bear to part with such a memorable time and i-can’t-believe-it’s-ending but because i just need a change. A change of scenery, people…life. Drama seems to be following me like a horrible soap opera, and while i’ve tried to keep my head above water and try not to drown, it hasn’t been easy. So many factors come into play. One too many to mention here. Its just become harder to handle.
I’ve been told not to immerse myself with stress and just remain indifferent (like oh so many people are doing) but i just can’t. If i do something i have to hear about it. Do something else and then hear about it from the other side. Trapped in a box of eternal subjugation and keeping every one happy, at the same time just racking my brain with ‘what ifs’.
After reading quite a few of my posts you would have come to realise that i’m tired. Let me explain. I’m tired in the sense that confrontation i find to be more anxiety provoking and stressful than would be if i just keep everything bottled up. I’m standing in the dark.
I guess, after all this time or lets just say 2 years i have come to understand something. While i have had some amazing times and wonderful cherishable memories…there have been some not-so-cherishable ones too. Like i said my life would be opted for some soap opera pretty soon.
But what i did come to understand (like i was saying earlier) was that maybe what i wanted wasn’t what was best for me. Maybe i should have just let it be after the first letter came in.
Food for thought: there is a reason certain things happen. Just accept them and move on.
And so, i wish to pull a Serena van der Woodsen.